What's wrong with people today?

Local news.

I'd seriously consider moving, but I'm fairly certain this sort of weirdness goes on pretty much everywhere. At least here it's easy keep an eye out for the loonies, they're so eager to self-identify.

Here's a tip, dude; get a pair of scissors and use 'em. Then you can submit your name for inclusion in the "self respect" and "dignity" categories instead.